My buddy Nick and I brainstorm how to save Megan Fox’s career.
It seems as though Hollywood has given Megan the finger and told her ‘RTFM OMFG DIAF!!!!1!!one!!!’, so what is going to be the big PR coup that will resurrect her career… or will it take more than that?
actually. no. scratch that. you ever see the movie ‘Punchline’? with Tom Hanks and Sally Fields… they pretty much hook up and are the romantic couple for the movie… flash forward, ‘Forrest Gump’ where Sally Fields plays Tom Hanks’ mom… if there were ever a movie to bridge the gap between the two, Megan Fox would have to do it.
Transformers: Zeo Ninja Force Plus Alpha
It’s 30xx and Megaman just got butt-humped by Optimus Integer. 1000101011 (Megan Fox) is sold into slavery by her uncle Owen and her aunt Anakin. Before being transported to the final oasis, Las Atlantis Falconbreath, 1000101011 is suddenly and heroically rescued by the transformer Fumblewasp Hogherpes. Safe at the Transformer HQ, Optimus Integer reveals to 1000101011 that she is the key to the Allvibe – the source of all happiness and wetness on Prince, formerly the planet known as Earth. However, the Decepticons are well awares of her powers and wish to extract it through violent sensual massage (read: tenticles). The HQ is attacked by Decepticons, led by Ultratron, and 1000101011 is punted like a football across the oasis-scape. A pterodactyl swoops in and fetches her out of mid-air and brings her to its nest. 1000101011 wakes among ginormous eggs and panics. The pterodactyl, in a milky Scottish accent, reassures her that everything is going to be just fine, and the Autobots are on the way. She asks how it could know such a thing, and the pterodactyl removes its dermis to reveal it is Sam Witwicky (Shia Lebeauf). Sam Witwickydactyl also reveals that nearly two thousand years ago, he ate one of Mikaela’s ovaries after getting drunk off of Allspark. The result was a tremendous explosion, and the folding of time. Finally, he goes on to explain that he is not only her former lover, but her father, grandfather, and mother. In the final scene of the film, Ultratron farts and 1000101011 disintegrates. The End.