Category Archives: Lyrics

Monkey Business, Dee Kay, and Bananas

I will beat the shit out of DK. Why? Because I look like these guys.

From totallylookslike.com


Girders in the sky
Lead to you, your captive
Fire sparks rolling inferno
Those oil barrels over reactive
I’m coming for you mutherfuker
I’m going to save the day
I’m coming for you sonuvabish

With my mallet parade
I will bathe in your
super ape destiny blood

I am a reaper
of princessnapping assholes

Bowser is an Asshole too

Bowser is an Asshole too (Found at deviantart.com By : *i-rainbow-starlight)

My overalls carry me
over all these obstacles
And put me closer
To driving this foot through your chest
And it will pop out your back
Sever ape column justice boom
I am the angel of your incontinence
You will shit your pants tonight

Oh.
There’s only one way up
Oh.
It’s only me and you
Oh.
Fist clenched in bristles
Oh.
Give me my banana
NOW

I am a flying moustache of justice
And peace for everyone wearing a dress
I would bite your turtles in half
If I didn’t have to stomp on your fukkin face
Ima grab an oversized hammer
And make a mess of this place
I’ll be here all week, mutherfukker
Be sure to tip your plumber’s crack pimp

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False, Profits

Cast off the shackles
You own nothing
Come to the mountain
Everything owns you

I’ll be on the hill
Wait for the world
I will rise again
What are you waiting for?

I saw you cross the river
Without wetting your feet
But you are still a man
You are still a man!
You led me across the desert
And freed me from bonds
But your are still a man
You are still a man!
You saw the face of god
And we will never see yours
You are still a man
You are still a man!

I will lead you
This is the law
I will feed you
There is none before
I will heal you
There is none after
Carry me now
Was there ever One?

You say you are one
But I know you well
I know you well
You collect
You don’t count
The cost, the blood
You serve one
But I’ve got
bad news for you
You serve man
And your greed
And your hate

Who do you think you serve?
Do you know what you serve?
Who do you think you are?
Do you know what you are?

Brutalismus

I own your life
Your socks and soul
They’re mine for the raping
Your ego is mine for the taking
Your calves are ripe for the raking
And your coccyx is right for a breaking

I punch your face
It explodes into dragons
I shot your fingers off
With a shotgun loaded
with baseball bats

I’m not your father
But I’ll take your hand
With this beam saber
And I’ll scream it’s not true for you

Your pants are full
Of land mines and grenades
Your shirt is covered
With killer bees and marmalade

I’m using you to impregnate
An angry elephant
I’m melting your ears
With my mind powers

I own your life

Go fuck a grizzly tiger
Go wreck a rocket ship
Go find a date on myspace
Go land in gorilla shit

Grunt

I Make Monsters

A song I wrote while being emo over an ex. Enjoy!
___________________
I Make Monsters
___________________

Careful now
You’re on a dark
On a dirty path
And I refuse to save you

Here’s the part
Where I leave
And you’re hanging
I can’t help but laughing

I picture you screeching
Claws extended reaching
Out for nothing
And you’re drunk from the blood you’re leeching
I picture you peeling
Flesh from victims kneeling
You’re so relentless
And I gave you the feeling

It’s our little secret
Your new hunger
It gives you strength
It makes you younger

You may consume
A habit you feed
They’re all yours
Take for the need

But for all your sins
I for sure have one
I made you, monster
And I pay for what I’ve done

Please
Take from me
Please
One last time
Please
Take it all
Please
Make this end

Awesomesauce

This is a song I wrote for @lkellison.

Awesomesauce

Someone once told me
If I’m number one, then I’m no one but
If it takes one to know one, I know none.
But what the hell this is a song, I’ll make fun
Of all the people I wish I could poop on.

Bowser, you muthafuka
I need me some princess
I keep coming back after recess
To find you took the dress
To another castle.
I’m not impressed.
Bowser, you’re an asshole
You are muthafuckin huge
But you can jump as high as me.
What the fuck is with that?

-Chorus-
I bring that hot heat
Like I just grew me some huge teats
There’s awesomesauce in the kitchen
Put it in your mouth and kwitcherbitchin

Kim Bauer, what the hell?
They must have just given up on you
They left you to collect morning dew
On the backside of a mountain with a few
Rations of goat meat and a thearapist too
Kimmy, how are you that dim?
You’re the daughter of Superman
How did you not learn from dad?
Was gone in Kosovo while you had
A lobotomy by Launch Pad?

-Chorus-
I bring the hot heat
Like roasted chestnuts, the sweet meats
There’s awesomesauce in the kitchen
Put it in your mouth and kwitcherbitchin.

-Bridge-
I need to spread the sauce
I’m going to put it on my toast
I’m going to drizzle it on the coast
And Dr Suess will hate this song the most
Give me the sauce
And nobody gets hurt
It’s full and is going to spurt
And I would give my favorite shirt
To find another rhyme to hurt

-Chorus-
I brought the hot heat
Like the Vandellas dancing in the street
There’s awesomesauce in the kitchen
Put it in your mouth and kwitcherbitchin.