Zombie-like Activity Timeline

View Map of Incidents

5.2 – Man’s ear bitten off in Ft. Lauderdale bar fight.
5.9 – Man breaks into home, bites part of man’s ear off.
5.16 – High school contamination, rash, hazmat situation.
5.19 – Sketchy hazmat situation at Fort Lauderdale Airport.
5.21 – Illinois man bites woman.
5.23 – San Diego man bites cousin’s nose off.
5.23 – Georgia hazardous materials scare on I-285.
5.24 – Mystery rash at school.
5.25 – Hazmat scare on school bus (pesticide).
5.25 – Unruly passenger subdued in Miami.
5.26 – Man eats other man’s face, is unfazed by first gunshot from police shot four times before dying.  A redditor found pics of the aftermath. Click to see original post, pics are in the header (one of face eaten, the other of the bodies). As a warning, the pics are graphic, not safe for work, and should be viewed at your own risk.
5.26 – Doctor bangs head against car, spits blood on arresting officer in DUI stop.
5.27 – Georgia contractor bites Lowe’s employees, resists arrest.
5.28 – Officials at the Institute for Genomic Biology issue a hazmat warning at 8.16pm. After the spill had been contained, and the IGB evacuated, the situation does not get cleared up until after midnight at 12.19am 5.29. All of this occurs after a shooting is reported at 12.05am 5.28, which turns out to be a self-inflicted, non-fatal wound.
5.29 – Man bites two officers during arrest in Madison, WI.
5.29 – A man in NJ stabbed himself repeatedly and threw his own intestines at officers. Seriously.
5.30 – Canadian porn actor, Luka Rocco Magnotta, allegedly dismembers, eats lover, and sends pieces to political parties.
5.31 – Maryland student admits to killing roommate, eats brain and heart.
6.1 – Swedish man cuts off and eats his wife’s lips after suspecting she is cheating on him.
6.1 – MMA fighter kills friend, cooks and eats heart.
6.1 – CDC denies undead, zombie rumors amid rash of cannibal attacks.


Schrödinger’s Zombie

Skip to timeline.

Skip to updates.

Last week, a brutal occurrence in Florida piqued many of our interests. A man was eating another man’s face, and when police shot the man, he seemed to not care very much and continued dining on the poor victims mug. The assailant was shot again and died. The victim is still alive, but in serious condition.

With all of our talk and waxing about the zombie apocalypse — from television, to videogames, to Facebook posts about who would be the hero and who would be the first to die on one’s friends list — it seems we are absolutely in love with the idea of it. But what’s more is that we are also quite serious about it. And this disturbing news story has made the possibility all that more real.

On the Facebook, someone posted a string of events in May that were in one way or another signals of the zombipocalypse going down. Someone commented on the string asking for sources. I did this below. So if you came for the sources, by all means, skip ahead. But first, I would like to discuss the physical matters, psychological reactions, and finally emotional reactions.

Less than 1% of bite injuries are from humans (source), so all of the recent biting action may or may not be an increase in occurence. My gut says no, though it is remarkable as much of the activity appears to be happening in the same region. As for the chemical, hazmat, and rash business between FL and GA, that’s particularly interesting. The number of questionable occurrences seems high for it to simply be a fluke. And the kinds of physical reactions the public are experiencing are disconcerting. Rashes spread fast, and airborne compounds that can be cause for a hazmat cleanup is problematic. But ‘hazmat’ queues a specific psychological response for me as I instantly conjure up thoughts and images of bioweapons. This response is an important layer to examine.

The world I have lived in has changed dramatically since September 11, 2001. I would argue that is the same for many. Words like ‘terrorism’ pluck subtle strings in some, or rattle roaring chords in others. Regardless, a strong undercurrent of fear came along in the wake of 9/11. And if there is any one group who capitalizes on fear, and has grown to be lethally efficient in doing so, it would be the news and media at large. They are certainly in the business of finding out what the public is interested in, finding/seeking related stories, and capitalizing on the mob. Some examples may include zombie-like activity, creepy chemical scares, etc. The skeptic in me would also like to suggest that sad people and scared people spend more money, buy more products, and increase overall consumption. NOTE : I found no source for scared people consuming more, but some common sense and logic allows me to speculate that folks will buy more non-perishible goods, weapons, and survival gear when a disaster, terrorist attack, catastrophe appears to be immenent. The emotional reactions to frightening news stories are not just limited to sadness and fear, but rather a broad spectrum of feelings.

Novels, movies, internet niches are dedicated to surviving extinction level events for humanity. And for some folks (myself included as an appreciator of sci-fi, et al), news of zombie-like attacks conjure up a certain sick sense of excitement. The zombie apocalypse fantasy many have been romanticizing the past decade can start many ways, and this last month in news certainly would spell the beginning of the end. Again, sadness and fear may rear their ugly heads as the perceived reality of dealing with death on a massive, global scale comes to the stage. That much is almost expected of humans. We’re supposed to be higher-level thinkers and feelers, after all. However, in first world lives that have been increasingly isolated and lacking challenge for our innate survival urges, a change like so would be welcome. A perceived benefit being the catharsis related to killing a zombie; murder that isn’t really murder.

While a zombie apocalypse is a sci-fi whimsical notion, sci-fi often becomes sci-fact, and speculative evidence is appearing in small heaps. It never hurts to be prepared with a contingency plan to the ‘white picket fence’ model that has been so forcefully integrated into dominant first-world culture. In any case, these are interesting times. Sometimes when people hear hoofbeats, they think ‘zebra’ when it’s only a horse. But as my friend Jim says, ‘it’s still hoofbeats, and I’d hate to get trampled.’

The following are ‘zombie-like’ behaviors from May 2012.

5.16 –
High school contamination, hazmat situation.
5.19 –
Sketchy hazmat situation at Fort Lauderdale Airport.
5.21 – **Illinois**
Man bites woman.
5.23 – **San Diego**
Man bites cousin’s nose off.
5.23 – **Georgia**
Hazmat scare on I-285.
5.24 –
Hazmat scare on school bus (pesticide).
5.25 –
Unruly passenger subdued in Miami.
5.26 –
Man eats other man’s face, is unfazed by first gunshot from police.
5.26 –
Doctor spits blood on arresting officer in DUI stop.
5.27 – **Georgia**
Contractor bites Lowe’s employees, resists arrest.

UPDATE : A redditor found pics of the aftermath. Click to see original post, pics are in the header (one of face eaten, the other of the bodies). As a warning, the pics are graphic, not safe for work, and should be viewed at your own risk.

5.28 – Officials at the Institute for Genomic Biology issue a hazmat warning at 8.16pm. After the spill had been contained, and the IGB evacuated, the situation does not get cleared up until after midnight at 12.19am 5.29. All of this occurs after a shooting is reported at 12.05am 5.28, which turns out to be a self-inflicted, non-fatal wound.
5.29 – Man bites two officers during arrest yesterday in Madison, WI.
5.29 – A man in NJ stabbed himself repeatedly and threw his own intestines at officers. Seriously.
5.31 – Maryland student admits to killing roommate, eats brain and heart.

Final Update : It has come to my attention that the meat of this post is really in the timeline. That said, it’s hard to read with all the updates. A new post contains a sole, <a href=”https://theironclad.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/zombie-like-activity-timeline/”>up-to-date timeline of the perceived zombie apocalypse</a>. Cheers.

2012 : Year of the Honey Badger

2012 is not going to be the end of Earth as we know it. We all know it, but getting people all scared and sad about an extinction level event makes them want to buy stuff. Another side effect is people wanting to be on the right side of the field when everything goes down.

While it won’t be the end of the world, the apocalypse, or the return of In Living Color (Which would be earthshatteringly awesome for me), it may be the beginning of the end of bipartisanship in the US. Which would be as badass as ILC returning.

The republican debates and candidates have been less than stellar. Instead of being a race of ‘Who is the best?’ it’s more a race of ‘How long can I go without effing something up?’ Herman Cain and Rick Perry being the latest to bow out on account of groping and alienating, respectively. I will hold my opinions of each of the candidates, because it isn’t the focus for this post, but I will say that none of the candidates (Obama included) are at the top of my list.

I am reluctant to like any of them because, as American politics in election season is, polarizing is the name of the game. Such behavior isn’t really what the public needs, but it sure gets votes. Us-versus-them mentalities only create neverending pissing matches, and that makes everything soggy and smell bad.

Unfortunately for everyone, dominating US parties both have some good ideas, but miss the mark in an effort to garner a stronger, rabid, more volatile voter base. I would hope that our lawmakers and leaders are prepared to stop using this as a campaign/support tactic, and instead try to get everyone unified to get something done. To change something instead of aiming for a seat in office.

That just makes me wish that politics, like the news, were actually about the subject instead of magicking up a story to gain support. That is, I wish that serving the American public was the focus of our lawmakers as opposed to duping them. I can’t speak on all lawmakers and elected representatives, that’s for sure. However, it sure does seem like the current climate, and I would like to see this change as things continue to erode.

Ultimately, I would like this time to be what is in addiction referred to as ‘rock bottom’. That is, everything is so effed up globally that people sort of stop resisting progress and a future and start working to move forward. I would like to see folks realize that getting all pissed about homosexual couples being recognized by the state, or claiming that their deity knows best, is not productive. Hopefully, it would get us to shut the eff up about talking points, and start to educate themselves about issues that affect them and the globe at large.

I would also hope that the perceived Mayan end of the world spurs a sense of unity. Like in the movies when a plane seems like it’s going to go down, and then everyone gets busy. Sadly, because so much of ‘end of days’ talk is wrapped up in holy bookness that it would be difficult for clashing beliefs to understand they are talking about the same things.

Before this gets any longer, I wish you make 2012 the best dang year ever. Party like it’s 1999.

Breaking : Anonymous is Angry About Megaupload

This week will live in digital infamy.

First, one of the greatest co-ordinated web protests cropped up in opposition of SOPA/PIPA. SOPA, PIPA, and the protest/petition each have their historic value; stricter, destructive measures to protect copyrights and introduce web-wide censorship, and an impromptu digital force that actually appears to have had an impact.

Comparing that to the weeks Occupy protesters spent trying to get folks to listen, it looks like the web wins.

Whether they are your allies or enemies, Anonymous is dropping giants today like flies. Upon the shutdown of popular file sharing hub Megaupload, a volley of DDoS attacks pounded government agencies and commercial giants.

DDoS attacks against the US Department of Justice, MPAA, RIAA, US Copyright Office, have been confirmed so far. Sites that are back up and functioning are having trouble, and are sluggish at best. It doesn’t look like Anonymous is letting up either.

This is possibly the most immense, wide-spread attack in the short history of the internet.

An argument against the actions of anonymous points to a slippery legal slope this could set internet upon. The assumption is vying for control of the internet based upon copyright violations has not been enough, but actions like this would give recourse to seek control grounded in sentiments of safety and security. That is, if Anonymous can do it, anyone can.

And if there is one thing that appears to be characteristically American, it would be the pre-emptive strike.

First SOPA/PIPA, now Anonymous on a rampage. We’ll have to see how this all plays out, and if Anonymous and internet users will make history.

Edit : Their pastebin post seemed a little childish, but then again… I don’t know. Stuff.

Found Something Good?

What I learned from the SOPA/PIPA Blackout

As three of your may have noticed, I blacked out Ironclad Illogica in solidarity with others protesting SOPA/PIPA. If you don’t know what it is, the answer is here. I’ll wait.

Now that you’re up to speed, let’s get down to brass tacks. To say the internet is a powerful tool would probably be the greatest understatement ever written. It has connected the globe in ways we could not have imagined, provided a new global market, and been a cat spouting fountain of information for those willing to learn search heuristics. I could go on, but I don’t want the internet to get a fat tube.

Now, I’m not going to go too nuts on what could happen if this passes. I will say that pirating is not so bueno, but it won’t go away if SOPA/PIPA becomes law. What will happen is some folks will potentially get dinged for really silly stuff. Searching google for an image of a movie poster, and putting it on your web page could get you shut down. Best part? Without any hope of seeking legal recourse, and conceivably without warning. That’s pretty ridiculous.

Now that I’m all worked up from typing that last paragraph extra hard to exercise my displeasure, here are some things I learned from the blackout :

1. In America, the only way to spur real political action is to use the internet. I am stoked that the global reaction was enough to show key supporters that this was a bad idea. That’s pretty freaking cool. And nobody got pepper sprayed, I think. Which is a plus.

2. The internet is seen as an untapped market… and product. Though web marketing and commerce are certainly alive and well, it is not owned and controlled. I saw references to the internet still being the ‘wild west’ in several posts yesterday from some rabid opponents of SOPA/PIPA. In a very real way, this is true. Pioneers headed west and bore the elements, disease, and oxen dying fording rivers. They were virtually ungoverned, and they found gold. Then everybody on the developed side of the nation wanted a piece of that action. They needed to own the commodity so they could control the flow, reap the benefits of this shiny, precious commodity. Bringing the metaphor home, we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of the capabilities of the internet. We’ve carved out a few sizable nuggets, but we have yet to hit the motherlode. So it makes sense to control it as best you can so when it is uncovered, you can collect. It has not been tamed yet. It’s like my back hair.

3. I am supremely jealous of the generations after mine. That students are going to wikipedia and google for answers is crazy. In my day, I had to go to the library and use a card catalog and talk to someone who smelled like the inside of a century-old hope chest to find the books I needed. And AND I didn’t just get to open the book and go to the answer either. No. I had to look at the table of contents, index, and glossary to try and locate the needle of information I needed in the haystack of potential papercuts. What do they have to do? Ctrl + F. Game over. That’s a load of bullcrap, but it also shows how awesome things like google and wikipedia are.

I am really happy that folks are so eager to defend their rights on the internet. And I am also proud that they were defended for the time being.

But we should also care about the passage of the NDAA .

Vol II, Issue 1

I’ve heard the tales of woe regarding ChatRoulette and Omegle. I feel like I have seen enough wang in my life, why is it that I am taking a chance by going on one of these sites?

Then it dawns on me. This is how the majority of the horny male population greets women on the internet already! So, if you’re a dude and you get a screen full of wang on one of these sites, check yourself. Make sure you are not that dude. Unless, that is, you are trying to make the internet equivalent of a bro hug.