Rants

Because you can never get enough of someone bitching, I present my 2 cents on everything. Pennis.

Why I want to punch you

Honestly, it’s a whole host of things. It could be that you never learn from your mistakes. It could be that you are totally unaware of your surroundings. It could be that you think you’re right all the time. It could be because you spend your cash on things that otherwise reclaim your childhood when you have children of your own. It could be that you don’t bother to learn. It could be that you refuse to embrace tolerance. It could be because you blame everything that’s wrong in your life on someone or something else. It could be that you don’t take the opportunity to make yourself better. It could be that you project yourself to people as though you invented the floor. It could be that you are a fair-weather rebel. It could be that you don’t listen to people. It could be that you consistently hijack conversations with the absolutely mundane. But really, I just want to punch you because you act like a dick.

Why ‘Pennis’

On Facebook, someone’s status read:
‘My boss just threw pennies in the garbage. I nearly peed my pants.’

Ok. We’re good so far. Now, come the two comments.

The first comment, not nearly as funny, but they did say that they didn’t get it. That was a chuckle for me, and worth mentioning.

The second comment was:
That’s just sad…I have an extencive collection of pennis…I almost have a 10 gallon watter thing 1/4 filled :-)

Holy. Shit. There’s so much to do here… let’s begin.

‘That’s just sad’ – Good. They get the post. Or maybe they wanted the pennies for…

‘I almost have a 10 gallon watter thing 1/4 filled :-) – Well, effing good for you. You now have a dollar.

Spelling – Extensive time with a dictionary or spell check may improve chances of spelling ‘water’ or ‘pennies’ correctly.

‘Pennis’ – I wish I knew the person who wrote this, so I could ask them if the know ‘Mr. Wong Burger’ or how their huge tub-of-penis is. I see ‘pennies’, I read ‘pennies’. I see ‘pennis’, you bet your ass I read ‘penis’. The extra ‘n’ is there because they’re HUGE! So, an extensive collection? Of penis? How many types are we talking here? And the penis collection… it extends? Ok. Sounds cool, I guess. For that matter, did this person really get the initial post, then? I mean, this discussion of penis is WAY off base. Did they think that the boss had a basket full of penis, and they were hurling the penises across the room until the flopped into the garbage? This sounds like a hostile work environment! As a male, I reserve the right to defend my penis’ honor, and I refuse to let a superior take mine and throw it into the refuse! I call shenanigans! And where did they get the basket of penis in the first place? Co-workers? I suppose it would open the door to morning greetings such as ‘Hey, so-and-so! How’s your penis?’ But then again, that could be taken the wrong way. Who knows.

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