I Like Horror

I’m not a thrill seeker. (Jump straight to the movies!)

A buddy told me a story of ‘something crazy’ he did in high school. I thought I’d seen and heard quite a bit. Then he breaks out with:

‘A bunch of my buddies and I would split up into two cars. We’d get on the freeway and get up to about 90MPH. Then, we’d roll down the windows, and switch people between cars.’

*eyebrow raises*

Then he had the gall to ask me to give him a crazy story. I told him about a time I threw Crisco balls at a stop sign out in the country.

Felt like a prostitute at a pornography convention.

I’m not a risk taker either.

I had the 401k discussion with my bank. After a series of questions like, ‘Do you run with scissors?’, she assessed that I would be taking a more ‘conservative’ approach to my 401k than most. She also pointed out that ‘for my age’ that was silly, and it would be more appropriate for me to take a high risk route. She tried for a solid 10 minutes to convince me so. I refused. I think I even said, ‘slow and steady wins the race.’

Who the hell quotes ‘The Tortoise and the Hare’ when talking to a banker? Old dudes with Worther’s in their pockets that predate the Model-T say shit like that.

At the time of writing this, I am under 30.

Probably no surprise, but I haven’t been bungee jumping, skydiving, or curling. I almost always order medium spice thai food, and I prefer to lock the door to a second story balcony at my apartment.

Safety Sam is a nickname of mine.

And this is why I like horror movies.






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