Awesomesauce

This is a song I wrote for @lkellison.

Awesomesauce

Someone once told me
If I’m number one, then I’m no one but
If it takes one to know one, I know none.
But what the hell this is a song, I’ll make fun
Of all the people I wish I could poop on.

Bowser, you muthafuka
I need me some princess
I keep coming back after recess
To find you took the dress
To another castle.
I’m not impressed.
Bowser, you’re an asshole
You are muthafuckin huge
But you can jump as high as me.
What the fuck is with that?

-Chorus-
I bring that hot heat
Like I just grew me some huge teats
There’s awesomesauce in the kitchen
Put it in your mouth and kwitcherbitchin

Kim Bauer, what the hell?
They must have just given up on you
They left you to collect morning dew
On the backside of a mountain with a few
Rations of goat meat and a thearapist too
Kimmy, how are you that dim?
You’re the daughter of Superman
How did you not learn from dad?
Was gone in Kosovo while you had
A lobotomy by Launch Pad?

-Chorus-
I bring the hot heat
Like roasted chestnuts, the sweet meats
There’s awesomesauce in the kitchen
Put it in your mouth and kwitcherbitchin.

-Bridge-
I need to spread the sauce
I’m going to put it on my toast
I’m going to drizzle it on the coast
And Dr Suess will hate this song the most
Give me the sauce
And nobody gets hurt
It’s full and is going to spurt
And I would give my favorite shirt
To find another rhyme to hurt

-Chorus-
I brought the hot heat
Like the Vandellas dancing in the street
There’s awesomesauce in the kitchen
Put it in your mouth and kwitcherbitchin.